my heart

It's been awhile! There are many reasons for this. There's the usual, such as... life is busy, I've been super focused on wrapping up three projects within about a month's time (not finished yet), we took a vacation... and all of these are true. But I've also been stuck.

This is a design blog, for the most part. I started this blog as an extension of my design business. But this is not nearly a full representation of who I am.

It's true that I LOVE interior design. I have such a passion to help people fully embrace, enjoy and care for their homes. What I constantly come up against is, there is such a fine line in this world (the world of design blogs, etc.)... between the desire to make a space beautiful, and the compulsion to have more. I find myself hitting up against this / resisting it / repeating the cycle, all the time.

My design 'eye' looks at a room and wants to fix everything that's not pleasing to me. And on one hand, I place a high value on art and beauty, and believe 100% that those of us with gifts in this area have a responsibility to use them to spread a little beauty in our corner of this world. Beauty - in all art forms - can nourish and feed a soul. My particular gift and passion - at least at this moment in time - is directed at sprinkling some fun, style, order and personality into others' homes. When people grab hold of the gift their home can be - both for those who live there as well as guests - this is what I get excited about.

What I also know to be true, is that our society/culture is hard-wired to get more, want more, crave more stuff... and truly, I fear contributing to this. I won't contribute to it...and this has been holding me back from blogging.

But, that's silly.

I know I'm not alone. In fact, time and time again, as I've read countless blogs, I resonate with bloggers as they express their desire to make their home (and/or the homes of others) cozier, often with DIYs, bargains, thrifted treasures, gifted items, etc.. In no way am I making a generalization about design blogs and their focus. I'm simply trying to articulate my own personal process.

As I look around our home, it's easy for me to list off my 'want list.' My personality leans more critical (which I'm actively fighting against daily!), and I knew it would be easy to slip into this focus on the blog. What I 'want' or 'need' for my next home project. And for me, this was not acceptable. There was no point in writing if this was going to be a recurring theme.

Also, at the end of the day, if I help someone construct a perfectly coordinated and functional living room, but the heart of their home is in shreds, and I've done nothing to encourage, lift, speak life and love... I've failed.

As I've considered questions such as, Why am I blogging? What do I have to add?, the honest answer is, I'm not sure! But I do know that I'm not through trying.

I mentioned above my belief in the specific gifts we've each been given....and let me tell you, I am convinced of this. At times, I literally have a sense that God has dropped this ribbon-wrapped package in my lap and is asking, What are you going to do with it? I am navigating this process literally every single day. This tangible awareness is driving me to do more, do better. Why He's chosen decorating as the particular tool in my hand at this time, I have no idea, but I'm holding tightly to Him, and I trust Him.

So, yes! you will hear about throw pillows and dining chairs and light fixtures and client projects and design conundrums! But there will be more, much more.

Did I mention? You see, I've got a passion deep in my soul. I can't stop it. I can't hide it. He's done so much for me, and it's time I tell the world.