August 22, 2013


I took a walk this morning. A pretty good one. Some serious stairs, hills and the like. It got my heart pumping, some muscles burning and I prayed for my family, my city, my husband, my church family.

Recently, I've lost focus and momentum in the exercise category, and as I faced a particularly daunting set of stairs, it hit me again just how necessary it is to push ourselves.

When I allow myself to remain stagnant, I don't stay the same - I, in fact, collect unwanted baggage. When I settle into yesterday's progress or successes, not only is forward progress stalled, but it's way too easy to slide backwards, into the comfort, the familiarity, of the old. At first, it doesn't seem so bad. After all, I know this place. I've been here before - have spent way too much time here - but for a time I forget that it wasn't a place that treated me well.

Yes, this applies to moving our body, taking care of our joints and muscles, skin and heart. And that's important.

But I'm also all too aware that when I choose to ignore those nagging thoughts, challenging relationships, struggles and tension points within my heart, I am doing myself a disservice. Just as failing to exercise results in unwanted pounds and loss of healthy, strong muscle (which was a result of hard work!), ignoring these heart issues drags me down, pulls me back to where I don't want to be.

I have seen and experienced so much stretching and growth and progress and forward momentum. I recognize miracle after awesome miracle in my life and those around me. I believe with everything within me that there is a move of God happening in San Francisco that is nothing short of history-making, and for some reason, I get to be a part of it.

But please hear me: I am in process. There are issues that come up again and again and that want to destroy me, but I'm not giving in. I pray. I refuse to be comforted by what tempts me as familiar or what once was comforting. I memorize scripture and speak it over myself and my struggles. I reach out to those who I know will support and encourage, speak truth, light and life into my stubborn flesh. Turning music on is a great tool as well - but be wise with this. Would you let any old stranger speak into your life, not knowing anything about the way they live their life? I have enough struggles of my own and choose not to open my heart up to the emotional weight and issues of others. What I will allow is life-giving worship and truth that will refresh, nourish, feed my thirsty soul.

I know, I believe, I trust that there's so much more, and that I won't get there by relying on yesterday's stuff. I want what's next, to live my life to the fullest, to not be limited by my human eyes. And I'm excited.

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